Once Is Enough

December Datura on Strawberry Fields Hike, Kauaʻi.

COVID19, for those who get bit hard, I realize, is its own mini dark night of the soul, and the things that come up when one is feeling really crappy, this itself can be a great teaching. 

What came up for me, now that Christmas is past, is the story that comes up ever Christmas, that, well, pedophiles can dress in Santa suits, and if there is that trauma template, then, well, you could have a really not so nice Santa experience, and one may forever associate candy canes with icky tastes rather than sweet things, and being rewarded for being naughty rather than nice. 

So, I was actually able to laugh about it, and set the intention to integrate this part of me in my day to day living. I was also able to read some gnostic gospels, understand that Saint Nicholas was actually a protector of children and valued compassion, and generosity.  

There was also an awareness, of how our belief systems, what we believe, we can manifest what we believe, and some beliefs, if they are fear-based, or not authentic to who we truly are, then, well, it really takes work to clear out the mental clutter, and have the courage to let go, to make space for the ideas and insights that are a part of our collective unfoldment as a human soul, as an individual soul, as a part of the divine collective web of ancestral wisdom and the creative energy that has given us all expression. 

There is a lot more to the story, but perhaps, some stories are best left untold. 

Some things are best left for others to discover for themselves. 

Like presents, why would I want to take away the joy of unwrapping a present. 

Insight, and wisdom, when it comes, there is this flood of joy, there is a reconnection and invigoration of the divine spark that we all are, collectively, within all that is known, and all that is unknown. 

The gift I unwrapped, was one that exists every breath I take, the present moment, in Hawaiian, it is called manawa. Every moment another breath comes, I am unwrapping the greatest gift of all, another breath, another breath of being in this present moment.

The capacity, to be here, now, in this moment, and in this present moment I can hear my beloved play piano, and love this, this connection, there exists the capacity to feel compassion, and to be kind, and to have the courage to simply do the work! 

To love my inner dragons, to love my inner butterflies, to love my inner worms, to love my inner bacteria, and octupi, and viruses, and to love my primordial ooze. 

okay, now, seriously, my body is calling m back to bed, but my belly is hungry, and I am my own nurse in this moment. 

Whatcha want body?

okay, you got it.